


The worst part

by SharpestRose



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-08
Updated: 2011-07-08
Packaged: 2017-10-21 03:49:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharpestRose/pseuds/SharpestRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Better to have loved and lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The worst part

It was all a matter of what was there and what was seen, and how the two differed. Anakin considered his master to lack subtlety entirely, but that was hardly the case in actuality. It took an enormous amount of cunning to plant the simplest of ideas in the young apprentice's head, and Obi-Wan had become very good at it over time.

For instance, Obi-Wan had simply suggested that Anakin could go back and check for any residual clues on the bounty hunter's trail while he informed Senator Amidala of the situation. It wasn't as if he had in any way insinuated that Anakin should go and act his age for a change, indulge in some controlled recklessness rather than the life-threatening glee he faced most serious things with. No, he hadn't meant for Anakin to do that at all. It wasn't his fault if the boy chose to do it anyway.

With his padawan off dancing and flirting with the plethora of flexible young things the city had to offer, Obi-Wan made his way back to Amidala's chambers, examining the dart he'd pulled from the shapeshifter's throat on the way. It was sharp and violent-looking, and made him feel ill at ease.

She wasn't that much older than Anakin, not really, but while Obi-Wan could never think of the boy anything but that, a boy, Amidala was a woman, and had been for many years already. She was sitting up, waiting for the Jedi to return with information, her entourage asleep again now that the suite was secure. Her eyes were a sore-looking red, but she wasn't crying.

"Did you kill them?" she asked in a tight voice. Obi-Wan didn't nod, but sat down beside her.

"The assassin who caused the attack on your landing is dead, yes."

"Did they suffer?" Amidala asked, her lower lip shaking a little. She bit down on the tremble with her even teeth.

"No, milady, not much."

"They should have." Amidala got up and walked through to the dining area, pressing the boiler switch on the water container. Obi-Wan followed, a slight line of confusion between his eyebrows.

"My lady?"

"She died in my arms, Knight Kenobi. She was in my arms and I couldn't hold her to this world." Amidala didn't look at him, pulling cups out of the shelves and a sachet of flavouring out of a small box.

"The decoy that was killed?" Obi-Wan hazarded. Amidala squeezed her eyes shut and steadied herself against the wall with one graceful hand.

"Corde. She had to be my shadow in life, at least give her back her name in death. She was Corde."

Obi-Wan guided Amidala to sit down as compose herself as he finished preparing the drinks. The fine orange powder of the flavour sprinkled into the water and then slowly dissolved, spreading a faint tint that faded slowly to almost nothing.

"You loved her?" he asked, carrying the two mugs to the table. After a moment, Amidala nodded.

"Yes. Have you ever loved, Knight Kenobi? Can you? To lose someone so dear, to see the light go out in their eyes..."

"All you can think of is revenge." Obi-Wan finished, putting his hand over Amidala's on the smooth surface of the table. She looked up and met his eyes, nodding again.

"All I've wanted since that moment is to see her killer die in as much pain as I feel." the admission seemed to weigh heavily on the air. "But that isn't the worst part." she paused. "Somehow, I think you already know the worst part."

"The worst part is knowing that she didn't die in vain. That the things that your lover was protecting were worth dying for. That if she hadn't been willing to die the way she did, she wouldn't have been the being you loved so dearly."

Now Amidala let out a long breath, as if she'd been holding in a terrible truth that could now be let out.

"Yes." she squeezed his hand tightly. "I felt so terrible, knowing that." Amidala's small smile was as sad and regal as the woman herself. "And knowing that, had I been in her position, it would have gone exactly the same way. There are things bigger than love, for some people."

Obi-Wan didn't reply, but he didn't let go of Amidala's hand for a long time.


End file.
